Pad Your Paycheck

Habits, and the Mistake of “I’m OK, You’re OK” Thinking.

admin — Fri, 26 Feb 2010 21:15:10 +0000

This is probably going to offend one or two of you, particularly if you’ve bought into the whole school of “wherever you are, it’s OK” philosophy. YOU are OK, no matter where you are. What you’ve permitted your life to become may not be. In fact, it may be a slap in the face to the Universe and your fellow humans, who are looking to you for guidance. Read on…

*** ***

OK, I’m all for allowing desires to come up from inside and take you where they lead. Resistance is a huge part of the challenges people have in not going forward with their lives. We put blocks on ourselves because we aren’t following our hearts…our true calling.

When we try and fit ourselves into what others want us to do - be it an individual, small group or society in general, we won’t work with the commitment we need to make things happen.

In fact, the worst thing that can happen is we DO succeed in these things, and we box ourselves into living a life of “success” without the fulfillment.

But let’s not forget one important thing… sometimes our pursuit of what we want is complicated…not because we don’t desire it deep down…

It’s because we’ve allowed our HABITS to interfere with that pursuit.

Habits can mean a lot of things. Habits could be simply getting lazy and complacent in our current lifestyle. We’re so comfortable that we lose our sense of desire and adventure…at least temporarily.

Habit can also mean a habit of belief. We allow ourselves to be conditioned into the idea that we’re not SUPPOSED to get the thing we want. We’re not good enough, worthy enough, skilled enough, enough enough.

And we can also fall victim to the habit of fear. We’ve seen what happens to the other guy when he tried to break through his current circumstances. Or we’ve learned to fear losing the stuff we have if we try doing something different.

Or we have the fear of rejection…of the ridicule or disapproval of others when we chase our own dreams.

There are lots of habits, and the thing they all have in common is they are learned behaviors. They often have nothing to do with our inner life, or spiritual selves. They’re just things we picked up along the way.

But they have a way of making us think they ARE our true selves. A habit of laziness, or fear whispers in our ear. It tells us we aren’t supposed to go for our dreams.

And well meaning literature and well meaning people say to us… “Everything in its own time. We’re all doing exactly what we’re supposed to do in this moment.”

Well excuse me, but BULL—T.

People don’t become healthy, wealthy, happy, conquer diseases, conquer obesity, conquer poverty, conquer lonliness because they went with “the flow” of their lives every moment.

They conquered these things because they allowed themselves a clearer vision of their lives without the falsehood of their bad habits distorting their view.

Sure, they felt better, and rediscovered their own worthiness.

Then they dug in, did some really hard work and broke the habits that held them back from the lives we are TRULY intended to lead.

*** ***

Next time you find yourself justifying your own mediocrity…by saying things like, “I’m doing exactly what I’m supposed to be doing at this moment in my life…”

Take a minute and get a clearer picture of who you’re capable of becoming, and what your life would look like if it weren’t covered in the mediocrity of your bad habits.

Your Friend,
Larry

P.S. For every bad habit, there is a corresponding good habit. For every moment of laziness, fear and self-loathing, there is the possiblity of intensity, courage and self-respect.

P.P.S. We can sit and listen to others justify our failure and misery as “the Universe acting out its Divine intent” or some other such nonsense. But who has the vision to see into our own lives and know what we’re SUPPOSED to do? No one I’ve ever met. I sure don’t! I only know what you’re capable of, which is limitless.

P.P.P.S. At any moment we can make a choice to live a life we control, rather than being on the autopilot of bad habits. But very often that involves putting ourselves in an environment where the good stuff is the rule, not the exception.

Technorati Tags: Habits, Larry Hochman, Law of attraction

A Whopper of a Story: How to Avoid Sabotage and Command Respect

admin — Fri, 19 Feb 2010 12:27:42 +0000

Originally written about six years ago. See the bottom for IMPORTANT updates.

*** ***

Picture this: a McDonald’s restaurant in Southern Florida on a Saturday afternoon.

One of the crew members, a typical young male teenager, is on his break. He sits down at the dining room table getting ready to dig into his fast food meal. He takes out his Whopper and starts chomping.

That’s right, I said Whopper, not Big Mac.

On his break time, he headed across the street to Burger King, bought himself a big fat juicy Whopper, then sat down in the MCDONALD’S dining room, and chowed down…

…Burger King bag prominently displayed for all to see.

I made eye contact and he said:

“You think I’m going to eat the stuff that comes out of here?”

Want to hear something else interesting? I watched this whole thing happen approximately 30 years ago, when I was a teenager. This was such a powerful memory that it stayed with me all these years.

If I were the owner or district manager and walked in, I would have fired everyone in the store who had any management responsibility right then and there (not to mention the young Burger King fan).

How much brain power does it take to realize that your employees eating the competitors food in your store is bad for business?

Of course, it goes deeper than that. Any organization that doesn’t have boundaries and guidelines is doomed.

Whether it’s a family, multinational corporation or something in between, there needs to be some kind of structure. Some kind of expectations about what’s acceptable and what isn’t must be in place for it to survive.

And of course there has to be rewards for those who contribute to the well-being of the team and consequences for those whose actions cause damage.

But imagine how this burger mix-up situation must have come about. It doesn’t take a genius to know that it’s bad business to tell customers you’d rather not eat the food you prepare.

This wasn’t just about poor management; this was a failure of LEADERSHIP.

And it’s important to understand the difference. Leadership happens NOT when people do the right thing because it’s against the rules to do the wrong thing.

Leadership happens when people contribute to the welfare of the group because they WANT to; because a leader (whether it’s the person with the title or not) set the tone for the group and became a role model for others.

Leaders are leaders when the followers follow. I’ll bet that McDonald’s was the poorest performing store in its area, if it still exists.

And I’ll bet the management team at the time hasn’t achieved much in the way of career advancement, unless they had some kind of life-changing experience.

Take a look at whatever group in which you have influence. Are people eager participants, willing to follow you as role model?

Or are they just doing the minimum necessary to get by and not get in trouble?

Or are they sabotaging you and the organization out of malice or neglect?

Be aware of what’s going on around you, and within you.

Look at your own attitudes and behaviors. Are you projecting what you’d expect and hope for from them?

Eat your own food in your own restaurant. Be the person you want others to be.

*** ***

Thank you Dave Lakhani, for the status about your daughter and the smoking pizza delivery guy that got the ball rolling on this. Actually (and you can give me a lie detector test on this) I had an overwhelming urge to check out Burger King on Wikipedia at 2:00 in the morning. Found out a lot about their corporate struggles.

Anything you’re building is only going to be as strong as the self-respect and self-esteem you bring to the table. If people are sabotaging your business, or organization, or personal life, don’t blame them. YOU let them in the door in the first place.

And don’t blame yourself either. That’s just wasted energy.

How about praising yourself for being a human being who actually showed up in the first place? Always a good starting point.

And how about praising yourself for having the awareness that something’s not right, and having the curiosity and ambition to fix it?

And how about making the commitment to start working on yourself…your own skills and sense of self-worth?

Keep it simple. Start there. Be willing to follow the trail of self-development that opens up to you.

The smart-ass fast food guys, smoking delivery dudes, and other gadflies in your life will start melting away.

They’ll be replaced by the angels.

L’Chaim!!!!

Your Pal,
Larry
http://NoMoreHoldingBack.com

Technorati Tags: Florida, Larry Hochman, Law of attraction

Bravery and Beauty on a Bike in Boca

admin — Fri, 15 Jan 2010 00:45:44 +0000

Written last February. Check this out if you’re interested in a way to move past feeling sorry for yourself.

*** ***

Last night in Boca Raton, Florida. We were down here for my father’s 70th birthday party (which didn’t happen because of my mom’s colitis, which landed her in the hospital - she’s OK). There were also a lot of great things that happened during the four days we were here, and I want to share one of them here.

Boca is an interesting town. A lot of affluence. A lot of really nice gated communities, a lot of elite cars, a lot of senior citizens, a lot of Jewish people (as measured by the number of synagouges we saw while driving).

And a fair amount of poverty too. Many street corners had people holding up cardboard signs asking for help and donations.

And of course a lot of people working in the service industries that cater to the rich. Desk clerks, wait staff, cleaners, custodians everywhere!

Driving back from visiting cousins I hadn’t seen in years, I saw what can only be described as a thing of beauty. A tree lined sidewalk on State Route 7. A man and a woman, both Asian, both wearing fancy waitstaff uniforms. Both riding bicycles. The man looked middle aged. I’m assuming either to or from work.

My guess: it’s the American dream. Two folks who left wherever they came from to participate in the Land of Opportunity.

I’m going to fill in the blanks from my imagination, and a bit from past experience. When I was 16 I did exactly what those two did. I worked in a catering hall, with my fancy uniform. I rode my bike to and from work, since I hadn’t gotten my drivers license yet. Riding home in the dark, four miles each way, often around 1 in the morning after working a double shift.

Not enjoying it very much, feeling taken advantage of in one respect by folks who should have treated their wait staff better.

But grateful for the money that was coming in. It was about $25 per eight or nine hours, after taxes. Money in my hand. Didn’t even have to cash a check! It was more than I ever had before, and for nearly a year I was happy to endure the aching feet and back, burnt fingers and snide comments of older workers.

And I’m still grateful for the experience. Opportunity. Perspective. Appreciation.

Lessons to be applied to whatever comes next.

And I’m taking my experience and magnifying it by a thousand, and putting it into that Asian couple on their bikes. Surrounded by BMW’s and Mercedes and personal and financial security.

And they are grateful for the experience. Opportunity. Perspective. Appreciation.

Lessons to be applied to whatever comes next.

What about you? What are you doing that feels less than you think you’re SUPPOSED to be doing? Does it make you feel small, insignificant, disappointed, angry?

Or are you grateful for the experience? Opportunity. Perspective. Appreciation.

Lessons to be applied to whatever comes next.

Have a miraculous weekend,
Larry
http://NoMoreHoldingBack.com

Technorati Tags: American Dream, Asian, Bike, Boca Raton, Florida, Jewish, Mercedes

Money: The Exception and The RULE

admin — Sun, 13 Dec 2009 15:44:17 +0000

OK, I’m going to put it out there…

There have been a gazillion things written about money, and what kind of relationships we have with it, and how it’s the root of all evil, and how love of it is the root of all evil..etc., etc., etc..

Well here’s one more…

I put out a statement a few days ago, about how it’s perfectly OK to expect an exchange of energy when interacting with those around us…how the cycle is complete when we not only give freely, but receive freely as well.

It drew responses from folks. Good people. Loving, kind generous people who pointed out that we don’t always have to get back.

True…it doesn’t always have to be.

But here’s the thing…our entire Universe is set up on the principle of ENERGY EXCHANGE. It’s everywhere. Rain doesn’t come from the sky without water being fed from the ground by condensation. Electricity doesn’t conduct through wires or the air without a current returning it. We don’t even breathe in without the necessity of breathing out.

And we sure as heck don’t produce without the necessity to receive.

We need to be clear. Money is the way we’ve decided to set our value for the goods, services, ideas and energy we bring. We don’t get paid in love. And we don’t pay our bills in good wishes.

“I love you. I bless you. I send you the energy of love, wholeness, wellness and healing….

Now will you please give me a ride on the bus?

Will you please let me have that Blackberry?

Will you please forgive this month’s mortgage payment?

Will you please pay my kid’s college tuition?”

You get the idea.

Money is the symbol we’ve chosen to make things go. It’s the symbol of energy, of productivity, of love.

Money will stay in your wallet or in your bank account long after the warm hug of gratitude or smile of appreciation is gone.

Good energy and strong intention doesn’t manifest a seat on a plane to Aruba. Money does.

But good energy and strong intention does manifest money, which buys a seat on a plane to Aruba…and postcards for your friends who didn’t go with you.

And of course like anything else money can be twisted, manipulated, made to hide our hurts or project our anger. I recently had an encounter with a gentleman who is rich in money and poor in spirit. He used his money in a way to belittle those who had less than he did.

But that’s not about money. The same thing can be done with anything: relationships, sexuality, athletic ability, the list goes on.

My point (and it’s a pretty simple one): if you shy away from the idea of exchanging money for energy - either as a giver or receiver - take a long look at your relationship with money, and with the idea of prosperity, and your readiness to receive.

Giving is wonderful. You can make someone feel wonderful by allowing them to give to you!

Three suggested books…

The Trick To Money Is Having Some, by Stuart Wilde. The best book on the dynamics of receiving I’ve ever read.

Sex, Money, Kiss, by Gene Simmons. Bawdy, ballsy and full of truth and fun.

How To Juggle (and Change Your Life Forever), by Larry Hochman. I wrote it as a product of my energy and experience. And it’s good enough for you to exchange your money for it. http://sourceofgoodstuff.com/larrys-stuff.html

Now…go out and give…and receive!!!

Your Pal,
Larry
http://NoMoreHoldingBack.com

P.S. I love to give…and to receive! The value I bring to the world around me is such that I command money for it…a lot of it! Are you bringing money into your experience? You probably have a lot of value to bring to those around you. The only thing from stopping its flow it is knowing how worthy you are of receiving it.

P.P.S. Don’t worry about how much money you have or don’t have at the moment. Money measures your value to the marketplace…not your worthiness as a person.

P.P.S. The amount of money you have now is a measure of the thoughts, feelings and actions you’ve taken in the past. Change those around now, and practice them consistently. Watch what shows up 30 to 90 days from now! Right Debb???

P.P.P.S. It really really really doesn’t matter how much you have right now! I have more money than I’ve ever had before right now, and not nearly as much as I’m going to have in 90 days (wink).

P.P.P.P.S. Yes, there are certainly ways to take in money that violate universal principles of good energy exchange. Stealing, manipulation, dishonesty…all these will bring money to you in the short term. You won’t have the consciousness to keep it, or enjoy it.

Technorati Tags: Christmas, giving, Law of attraction, money

An Appreciation of Jim Rohn

admin — Sun, 06 Dec 2009 04:25:35 +0000

Jim Rohn died today. I found out about it on Facebook. Thank you Tom Doherty for the information.

If you aren’t in network marketing or some other kind of entrepreneurial business, there’s a good chance you don’t know who he is. On the other hand, if you study anything by Tony Robbins, Wayne Dyer, Les Brown, or any of the better known personal development superstars, you’re familiar with Jim’s work. That’s because each of them credit Jim Rohn with being one of their major influences.

He’s one of mine too. In 1999 my wife “dragged” me to my first multilevel marketing opportunity meeting. I was a high school guidance counselor, in lock step with the employee mentality. A world of abundance, freedom and personal accountability opened up to me, in ways a masters degree in counseling never opened.

And Jim Rohn was there. Not in body. But the concepts were all his. The company was founded around principles Jim developed in the middle part of the 20th century.

“Profits are better than wages.”

“The pain of discipline weighs ounces. The pain of regret weighs tons.”

“Don’t ask for things to get easier. Ask for you to get better.”

“Success isn’t something you pursue. Success is something you attract by the person you become.”

All Jim Rohn quotes.

Jim set the standard for the kind of presence I strove to become. The kind of educator, the kind of marketer, the kind of entrepreneur, the kind of person I aspire to.

Jim made me a believer. Not in the home business industry, or even the personal development industry. He made me a believer in myself. And in his simple, right down to business way, in my ability to enter a world I thought wasn’t mine to enter.

One of my favorite pictures is my two daughters, ages eight and five with Mr. Rohn. He appeared at a training in New York where Diane and I attended. Jill, our older one made it a point to tell him she does her homework before watching TV…something she learned from him.

As Jim walked away I heard him tell his assistant, “that made the whole trip worthwhile.”

We are saddened at his passing. So are a whole bunch of others. But the legacy of Jim Rohn lives on and on.

Check out http://tribute.jimrohn.com/. It’s all right there. Jim’s message of joy, character and abundance will outlive him. And each of us gets to take it to the next generation…by living it ourselves.

In Appreication,
Larry

Technorati Tags: Jim Rohn, Nttwork Marketing, Obituary

“Oh My Godding,” or How Language and Thoughts Create Each Other

admin — Wed, 02 Dec 2009 03:45:31 +0000

I heard my daughter Jillian call out “Oh My God!” as many 16 year olds are prone to do…especially when it’s not about anything particularly important.

Maybe I was bored that particular moment, or maybe she said it with more drama than usual. I was curious as to what got her so exicted.

So I asked, “What are you ‘Oh My Godding’ about?’

I don’t think I ever got the answer to my question. But when the expression left my lips it brought back an earlier time. Years back I’d tell Jill to be careful - pretty frequently.

One day she came out with “I am Be Carefuling, Daddy!” One of the funnier moments I remember as a parent.

I love how kids create their own vocabulary from the things they hear around htem. Nouns become verbs. Verbs become nouns. Whole expressions become verbs. And of course Intials become words. OMG, isn’t that true! ROFL.

It’s mostly all in good fun, but isn’t it amazing how the words you use shape your own experience? If you use words like can’t, poor, hate, and stupid enough, guess what shows up in your experience?

Same is true for words like possible, abundant, appreciate, grateful and love.

Of course sometimes it’s more complicated that that. Different factors contribute to what manifests.

And sometimes it’s as simple as the words you use setting the table for what flows into your experience.
Mabye you want to consider upgrading the language you use - on others and yourself?

Maybe you want to hang around others who you use the words you’d llike to be the dominant ones in your vocabulary?

Maybe you want to find the golden nugget in every moment…the ones that are obviously good.

And the ones that seem crappy but are priceless growth opportunities.

And the ones that don’t seem to carry much emotion either way, which are the perfect ones to appreciate being alive and full of infinite possibilities.

Oh My God! What a beautiful reality we co-create!

Peace, Prosperity and Dynamic Creation!
Larry

Technorati Tags: Language, Larry Hochman, Law of attraction, OMG, ROFL, Teenage Daughter

The Hidden Beauty of Black Friday

admin — Sat, 14 Nov 2009 02:24:46 +0000

Originally written two days after Thanksgiving 2008. Since we’re two weeks away from Black Friday 2009, here’s some food for thought. Consider this carefully before going out bargain hunting, please.

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I’m writing this on Sunday morning, a couple of days after a few tragic incidents on “Black Friday.” For those of you not in the United States, this is the day after the American Thanksgiving holiday when many stores offer sales with deeply discounted items. These sales have become a phenomenon over the past few years, with stores opening at 5:00 am and people lining up the night before to buy a very limited quantity of deeply discounted items.

In New York a Walmart employee was trampled to death by the oncoming crowd as the doors opened. And in California a customer shot and killed two people in an apparent rage about some item that was in high demand.

Many people are prepared to take these two incidents and use them as a symbol of everything that is going wrong in the world. I’d like to offer a completely different perspective: I think this is a time to recognize just how essentially right things really are.

*** ***

These are sad events, but not unprecedented. As I was telling a friend of mine, I can imagine an out of control crowd rushing to get scarce loaves of bread, or medicine, or any number of things that were once considered necessities for survival.

So the fact that the rush was on for electronics or toys, things that are nice but not necessary is a sign of increased prosperity.

Indeed, this was a case of “manufactured scarcity.” Collectively, we decide to assign importance to certain items that really has nothing to do with our actual survival. We will continue to breathe in and out whether we have that new computer or not. Our children will love us whether they get the hot new toy or not.

A deliberate condition of scarcity was engineered and created by the stores themselves, to entice people to come in and act out of fear. The media bought into it, with stories about the Black Friday sales and people lining up days before.

I remember attending one of these a couple of years ago. We were at a Best Buy store in Connecticut at 5:00 am, thinking we’d be among the first to be there. We were greeted by multiple police cars, dogs, television news trucks, and thousands of customers who arrived before we did.

That was the end of our Black Friday shopping excursions. Never again.

As I said, the reatilers and media co-created the conditions that contributed to these deaths - along with us. Those who lined up outside the doors participated in the frenzy. We have choices in how we think, how we act and what we allow into our consciousness.

So with that, let me leave you with a few pieces of good news….

1. I predict a change in the way these sales are administered, and they may even disappear altogether. The retailers and the media don’t just create public opinion. They respond to it as well. Walmart is no doubt reeling from bad publicity surrounding this event. Black Friday sales are now associated with corporate and consumer greed. No business wants that connection.

2. For every act of chaos, greed and desperation that occurred on Black Friday, there were hundreds, even thousands of acts of civility, kindness and generosity. These weren’t reported in the media.

Doors were held open for senior citizens and children.

Children’s eyes lit up when parents bought special presents for them, and parents hearts melted with the reactions of their kids.

Strangers bonded in a shared sense of humor of the absurdity of the circumstances they were in.

Spouses had hot breakfasts waiting for their partners when they returned home.

Some minimum wage retail workers found a sense of dignity and personal empowerment in being assertive towards large groups of people. Some of these same workers received more money than usual based on the volume of sales they processed.

And some of these workers experienced something unpleasant enough, it inspired them to ask for more out of their lives. Somewhere on Friday a decision was made by a Walmart or Radio Shack worker to go back to college.

It really is a matter of where you choose to put your focus. Three lives taken and an attitude of greed. Or a self-correcting marketplace and many acts of compassion and grace.

I know where I’m choosing to focus!

Your Friend,
Larry

*** ***

Be an Angel this year. Celebrate your prosperity. If you’re reading these words, you have access to a treasure trove of information and inspiration. Be smart about what you allow into your consciousness. Be kind. Be generous with your time, your wealth and your energy. See what kind of positive momentum you can stir up by your example.

Technorati Tags: Best Buy, Black Friday, Larry Hochman, Thanksgiving Sales, Walmart

When Your Work Is Your Play…

admin — Fri, 09 Oct 2009 20:39:26 +0000

Well, it finally happened…

After 30 or so years of waiting, I finally fulfilled a life-long desire…

“You wanted the best, and you got the best. The hottest band in the world…

KISS!!!”

See pictures below. It was smokin’!!!

I especially loved how the 40 somethings like myself made up most of the audience. Second most common group: their kids…many of whom were wearing Gene Simmons and Paul Stanley makeup.

Made me think of two high school pals, Fred and John…both tagged in this note – and going to my first concert with them in 1982: Rainbow and the Scorpions. And it made me think of Robin, from middle school…that whole time period of worshipping our rock and roll heroes.

Gene, Paul, Tommy and Eric were obviously having a ball. They must be! Gene is 60 and Paul is 57. They have more money then they and their families will ever need. They’re doing it for the glory.

In other words, their work is their play.

It was fantastic. I “rock and rolled all night and partied every day.” (wink)

And then I sat in amazement and gratitude after the show.

*** ***

And then after that, I got myself together at 6:00 am, left the hotel room and headed to a high school in rural Connecticut. I was part of a team that did an evaluation visit for the New England Association of Schools and Colleges to determine if the school would have its accreditation renewed.

I’ll give you a snapshot of it: four days of meetings, teacher interviews, pouring over documents, writing insanely detailed reports, and generally going through the entire workings of this school, from how many students used the library, to the condition of the boiler rooms.

Working straight through from 6:00 am to 10:30 or 11:00 at night. Then writing reports after that in our hotel rooms. Four days of that.

And you know what? We all loved it. It was like a giant jigsaw puzzle/mystery story we were working on. And we knew what we were doing was going to help kids, and their parents…not to mention the teachers and the entire community.

To the rest of the world it would have looked like physical and mental torture. To us, it was fun.

In other words, my work is my play.

*** ***

Many people I know divide their lives into their “work time” and their “play time.” In other words they tolerate what they do during the day so they can spend the rest of their time doing what they enjoy.

Fair enough. But I’ll throw this out there…

If you learn how to focus on the parts of what you do that are fun - that feel good, you’ll bring more of them into your experience.

And if you look forward to those parts you’ll find the other parts – the ones that weren’t so much fun start to become more tolerable. And you might even learn to enjoy those too!

And if you decide to co-create with your co-workers…find meaningful partnerships with those who are working with you, you’ll find yourself doing less of the things you don’t like and more of the parts you are doing.

And if you choose to focus on the fact that anything you’re doing has some benefit to others, that you are making a contribution in some way, you see more value in your work and more value in yourself for doing it.

OR…if you absolutely do not find anything you can hang your hat on that brings any kind of pleasure to you, then you owe it to yourself and those around you to do something else.

(and by the way, there IS value in what you’re doing. Making a good part in a factory, or sending an invoice, or making the next batch of onion rings keeps the economic engines humming)

Message: Make your work your play. Soon enough, that’ll be all you do!

Your Rockin’ Friend,
Larry

Started holiday shopping yet? Early presents, to yourself or someone else: HOW TO JUGGLE (and Change Your Life Forever), and NO MORE HOLDING BACK: Humor, Wisdom and Inspiration To Move You From Here To There. Two books I loved writing. Like I said, my work is my play!

Technorati Tags: Kiss, Larry Hochman, Law of attraction, make more money, Mohegan Sun, Rock and roll, Second Income

Are You A “Yes Man?”

admin — Thu, 17 Sep 2009 00:14:04 +0000

The term Yes Man has gotten a bad rap. People think of it as someone who is willing to say anything to fit in, or to please a boss. I’m inviting you to look at in another way…

Mary is a friend of mine. A couple of years ago I was her internship supervisor while she was getting her master’s degree in counseling from Central Connecticut State University. She’s a fantastic school counselor: warm, smart, assertive and a great listener.

She’s also out of a job at the moment. Too many people looking for too few openings.

Mary just finished up a temporary counseling assignment for a school counselor who was out on maternity leave. She was looking at her job prospects. Not all bad news…she actually had an interview scheduled for today. I just sent her an email to find out how it went.

We were talking about her job prospects last week. One of the things she was worried about is coming off like a “Yes Man” (or woman, in her case). She figured that if she seemed as if she was too agreeable, she either wouldn’t get hired at all, or would wind up in a position where she’d be treated like a second class citizen, willing to do whatever her principal wanted.

I understand where she’s coming from. No one wants to be seen as a toadie to a boss…willing to “go along to get along.”

I told her what I’m about to tell you. Being a “yes person” doesn’t mean you have to blindly agree with what those around you say or do. My version of a “yes man” is someone who is looking for a reason to say…

“YES! I want to try something new or different. I want to put energy, passion and sweat into something I love to do!

YES! I am happy to go outside my comfort zone to learn new skills that will make me better at what I do. I am happy to try new things that will make me more valuable to those I serve.”

That’s my idea of a “Yes Man.”

*** ***

Before Mary, the graduate student I trained was a young woman in her 20’s. She was full of energy, and fire. She was willing to work hard and try on new behaviors that would make her a better counselor. She was willing to do the hard work on herself.

And she was willing to be such a “Yes Man” that she went to her supervisor at the college when she disagreed with me about a student. I told her what should be done, and she very politely (and somewhat embarrassed) told me she disagreed and wanted to bring it to her adviser.

That’s the best kind of “yes man…someone who says “Yes, I have the courage to do what I think is right even if it gets me in trouble.”

I complimented her on her assertiveness and bravery. She believed in what she was doing so strongly, she was willing to go against the person (me) who would complete her evaluation.

And guess what? She got a job right out of her internship! She’s a terrific middle school counselor.

*** ***

Should you be a “Yes Man?”

YES…if you think of someone who says yes to challenges, to being a team player, to respectfully but firmly doing what feels right even if it’s against the rules.

And saying yes to listening to the opinions of others, and being willing to take in new ideas that serve you.

So if you’re building your business, or looking to advance in your career, or doing anything that involves doing something new, different or scary, do yourself a favor…

Be a “Yes Man.”
Your Affirmative Pal,
Larry
NO MORE HOLDING BACK

Join us at THE MANIFESTING EXPERIMENT, our Facebook group, where we say yes as often as possible (and even sometimes when it’s impossible!).

The GETTING OUT OF YOUR OWN WAY class is approaching Week Two. Got room for more “yes people.” A recording of Week One is available for people who want to catch up and throw down with us. Details: http://NoMoreHoldingBack.com/yourway Message me for tuition plans.

Technorati Tags: Central Connecticut State University, Job Interview, Job Search, Larry Hochman, Masters Degree, School Counselor, Yes Man

Are You Being Done In By Inertia?

admin — Thu, 10 Sep 2009 01:44:15 +0000

Inertia:

–noun
1. inertness, esp. with regard to effort, motion, action, and the like; inactivity; sluggishness.
2. Physics.
a. the property of matter by which it retains its state of rest or its velocity along a straight line so long as it is not acted upon by an external force.
b. an analogous property of a force: electric inertia.
3. Medicine/Medical. lack of activity, esp. as applied to a uterus during childbirth when its contractions have decreased or stopped.

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I’m back from the first “family reunion” of THE MANIFESTING EXPERIMENT, in New York City. It was an AMAZING time. Five of us laughed, loved, co-created and had deep meaningful experiences that will last…possibly for a lifetime.

The invitation to be part of the family reunion went out to approximately 2000 people. Let’s subtract those for whom geography made it too difficult to attend (though some traveled 200 miles to get there), or were just not interested in what we’re doing.

That leaves a whole bunch of people who could have come and played with us…they were close enough and DID have an interest.

They could have followed through - but they didn’t.

The habit of inertia.

We see it everywhere. We see it in seminars and teleclasses.

We see it in improving our health, in fixing broken relationships, etc.

We see it in creating daily habits that make the difference between abundance and scarcity.

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The world is very roughly divided into the five percent who are guided by spirit, enthusiasm and living without self-imposed limitations…

and the 95% who are on mental, physical and spiritual “autopilot.”

**HINT: if you’re reading this, there’s a good chance you’re in the five percent category, or at least on your way to it. **

Guess who are the luckiest, happiest and most abundant? You betcha…that same five percent!

The sources of inertia are many, including fear around your past experiences. We all have negative stuff that happened to us that we have to work through in order to break through.

Another way of saying that… if you have a sense of PERSONAL WORTHINESS…that you are good and DESERVING of the good stuff in life…

…then you will be willing to take some risks - smart ones - because you KNOW you’ll be OK no matter what. You trust your own “comeback power.”

And some people are at the end of their rope. They’re so unhappy they have nothing to lose. So they take a plunge into something different.

*** ***

Are you unhappy? Dissatisfied? Spiritually constipated?

Unless you break through your inertia, life will hand you the backwaters of the thrills and chills that the five percent are getting.

Hit bottom first, if you must.

But you don’t NEED to fall apart before you move forward to do something.

Your Forward Moving Friend,
Larry
http://NoMoreHoldingBack.com

“Until you make a commitment, the Universe will not support your wishy-washy ways.” - Iyanla Van Zandt.

GETTING OUT OF YOUR OWN WAY http://nomoreholdingback.com/yourway Tuition starts at $67.00. Message me for direct purchase discount.

Technorati Tags: Bad Habits, Getting out of your own way, how to be confident, Larry Hochman